I am thinking of resurrecting this thing. Is anybody out there? Am I blogging to myself?
They say "...if you build it, they will come." Maybe I should just start hammering away, eh?

Sayonara

It is becoming abundantly clear that I have absolutely no time for blogging this semester. Maybe I will return in the summer.
Adios

Thanks to Devra, I have discovered "offbeat wedding porn." Thanks a lot. I don't want to do anything else except look at pictures of these awesome weddings:

http://offbeatbride.com/tags/wedding-porn

Recently I've realized how fat and unhappy I have been for a long time. All my life. Even when I wasn't really overweight, I always felt that way. Ultimately it ended up becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy...I became what I always belived myself to be.
And now the task is to undo the damage done.
""One study on people who underwent surgery to lose weight reported that nearly all said they'd rather be a normal weight and have a major handicap, such as deafness, severe acne or legal blindness-or EVEN HAVE A LEG AMPUTATED- than be fat. All said they'd prefer to be of normal weight than be an obese millionaire." (Anne M. Fletcher.)
According to the "Body Mass Index" I am obese.
I feel obese. I want to believe that it won't be this way forever, but I just don't know. Maybe it will always be like this.
I quit smoking, so I must be able to lose weight too. Unfortunately, one cannot quit food cold turkey.

I effen love this picture

I Really Meant It

Today I played violin well. Really well. I performed at an informal concert and it was beautiful. My accompanist played like he was in love with every note. There were moments when the music took over, and the only thing really living for me was the Sonata.
I have never felt this while performing the violin before. It's like I was a musical virgin before, and everything else was just heavy petting. I have made love with music for the first time, and now everything has changed.
Fuck yeah.

Fast Food Jogging

I want to be someone who runs in the morning. I can imagine it. In the rain and fog of Humboldt County, my panting breath clouding the air.
In general I am someone who likes the idea of things better than the thing itself. Like being in Jazz Improvization for example. I like the idea of being the kind of person who takes a jazz class, but the reality is I fucking hate it. Every minute I sit there is torture.
Or Morocco and learning Arabic. I want to be someone who speaks Arabic and lives in Morocco drinking strong coffee, but I am not really willing to take the steps to get me there.
In general, this is a montage culture. We want a fast-forward reality, and we can skip the boring shit.